literature

More General Grievous Facts

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General Grievous can always pick up a girl by walking up to her and saying, “I wub you.”

General Grievous was not a coward in Episode III.  He merely saw that Obi-wan had borrowed Chuck Norris’ beard for the weekend and he did the only sensible thing he could do.

One year Santa Claus decided to take a vacation and entrusted his duties of delivering toys to kids to General Grievous.  It was a very disappointing year for the kids.  

General Grievous tried to market T-shirts that read "I HAVE AIDS" in big letters, but all the companies found it too tasteless to manufacture.  Grievous resorted to making them himself out of old undershirts and magic markers.  He then went to school playgrounds and sold them to first-graders.

General Grievous *can* stop the music.

General Grievous invented Pixy Sticks.

General Grievous always suspects the Spanish Inquisition.

General Grievous is actually the godfather of Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka, founder of somethingawful.com

General Grievous is a professional Paris Hilton look-a-like.

Experts disagree on why General Grievous wears a cape.  It has officially been narrowed down to the following: 1) because he's a superhero, 2) because he's a magician, 3) because he's a pimp.  Only General Grievous knows for sure.

General Grievous is a minor-league Marco Polo player.  If you don't think Marco Polo is a real sport, try saying that to his face.

If you look up the word “stupid” in the dictionary, you’ll find a picture of General Grievous with a caption reading, “This is exact opposite of stupid.”

The Dude takes it easy for all us sinners.  General Grievous is the force acting against that.

General Grievous loves everything about Christmas, but his favorite part is knocking down his neighbors’ ladders when they’re putting Christmas lights on their roofs and then shooting at them with a paintball gun.

General Grievous breeds pugs in his free time.

It took 200 animators three months to make it look like Obi-Wan killed General Grievous in Episode III.

General Grievous invented the Atkins diet because he can actually live without carbs.

General Grievous lives in a giant muffin.

General Grievous was the guy who caught George Michael in the stall and reported him to the police.  It was a disillusioning experience for him.

.Every time the Bluth family stair truck gets a hop-on, it’s General Grievous.

General Grievous once told Obi-Wan that calling him a droid was the most annoying thing he could do.  Obi-Wan then started a rumor on the internet that General Grievous was a woman.

Women love General Grievous because his face reminds them of Sarah Jessica Parker.

If General Grievous was on Happy Days, he would have killed that damn shark.

When tensions between the United States and Russia increased after WWII, General Grievous declared that loser would fight him.  As a result a massive arms race ensued.  The Cold War ended when Grievous got bored and reneged his statement.
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Anonymouslydone's avatar
THIS ONE IS EVEN BETTER.